what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
