mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
