you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
