Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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