You just made me feel so damn special
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
