If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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