It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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