I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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