Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
