I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
