I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
