I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
