did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
