Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
