Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
