I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
