Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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