what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
