Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
