His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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