I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
