I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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