i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
