She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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