With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
