Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
