Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
