it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
