It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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