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I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
