i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
