My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
