And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
