Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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