Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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