What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
