white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
