i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your cock deserves a montage
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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