Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
