just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
