I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
