I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
