East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
