I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
