I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
