dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
