I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
