At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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