I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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