you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have post one night stand depression
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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