The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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