break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
